Sexuality doesn’t always follow a straight or predictable path. For some, attraction can shift, fade, or resurface in new ways over time. While this experience may sound confusing, it’s more common than many people realize. There’s even a name for it: abrosexuality.
Writer Emma Flint knows this reality well. For three decades, she navigated a deeply personal journey of questioning her identity, often feeling like she didn’t quite belong anywhere. In a candid essay for Metro UK in July 2024, Flint revealed how she finally came to understand her own shifting experiences—and why discovering the word “abrosexual” brought her peace after years of uncertainty.
At 32 years old, Flint looked back on a life marked by transitions. Some periods were defined by identifying as a lesbian, while at other times, she found herself drawn to men. There were also stretches when she felt no attraction at all. The constant cycle of change left her struggling to explain herself, even to the people she loved most.
“I felt like I was drifting, like being lost at sea,” she wrote. “When my attractions changed, I worried that people would think I was being dishonest about who I was.”
Flint clarified that her shifting identity wasn’t about indecision or confusion—it was about something deeper. Her sexuality wasn’t fixed, and it never had been.
“One day I could feel fully aligned with being a lesbian, and days later, I’d identify more with bisexuality. At times, I didn’t feel any attraction at all. My sexuality was fluid,” she explained.
The turning point came when she stumbled across the term abrosexual in an online discussion. For the first time, everything she had been experiencing clicked into place.
“Finally, I felt seen,” she said.
What Abrosexuality Means
Abrosexuality is still a relatively lesser-known identity within the LGBTQ+ community. According to Healthline, it refers to a form of sexual fluidity where a person’s attraction can change over time. This doesn’t just mean being attracted to different genders, but also experiencing shifts between attraction and a lack of attraction altogether.
It’s distinct from bisexuality or pansexuality, which describe attraction to multiple genders. Abrosexuality focuses on the changing nature of attraction itself—highlighting that for some, desire is not stable or permanent, but evolves.
Flint explained it in her own words:
“I love the person rather than their gender. And if my attraction fluctuates while I’m with someone, that doesn’t make the relationship less valid.”
Facing Misunderstanding
Despite gaining clarity for herself, Flint admitted that others didn’t always understand. Many expected her to “choose a lane” and questioned the legitimacy of her shifting experiences.
She responded with an important reminder:
“Just because you don’t know or understand an identity doesn’t make it less authentic.”
Her statement points to a larger issue. While society is increasingly aware of diverse sexual identities, lesser-known ones like abrosexuality can still face skepticism. People often expect consistency as proof of validity, even though human attraction is far more complex.
Everyday Experiences of Abrosexuality
For those who identify as abrosexual, the experience can vary widely. Some examples include:
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Feeling attracted to men for weeks, only to later feel attraction exclusively toward women.
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Identifying as pansexual for months, then going through a period of no attraction at all.
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Living as straight for years, until feelings shift unexpectedly toward someone of the same gender.
These transitions can happen quickly—over days or weeks—or more slowly, across years. Some people experience long stretches of asexuality, while others find their attraction changes more frequently. There is no single pattern, and that flexibility is what defines abrosexuality.
Growth Through Language and Identity
Flint emphasized that self-discovery is part of human growth. “We’re always learning new things about ourselves—that’s what growth and development is about,” she wrote.
Finding the right term gave her a sense of freedom. What once felt like a source of isolation became something she could finally explain. For her, abrosexuality wasn’t a phase or confusion—it was her truth.
Her hope is that more people will recognize abrosexuality as a valid identity, not a trend or something to be dismissed. With more awareness, people navigating similar experiences won’t have to spend decades wondering if something is “wrong” with them.
Why Stories Like This Matter
Flint’s journey highlights the importance of visibility. For many, hearing the right word at the right time can be life-changing. Language gives people tools to understand themselves and share their experiences without shame.
Her story is a reminder that sexuality is not always fixed or easily defined. For some, attraction is a shifting, evolving part of life—and that reality deserves the same respect as any other identity.